It's fantastic to finish the race around Europe on the podium once again, just as we had hoped. We fought hard for it, it was very exhausting, and thankfully we've now been rewarded. My congratulations go to Biotherm for winning this edition of the race. Paul Meilhat and his team sailed an incredible race all along, and this victory is more than well-deserved, I'm really happy for them.
We won multihull line honours at the Fastnet this morning, Monday 28 July, crossing the line at 0438 (BST) after 1 day, 17 hours, 18 minutes and 4 seconds of racing.
Less than hour later, at 0523, Banque Populaire XI, skippered by Armel Le Cléac’h, finished in second.
On the dock in Cherbourg, I was exhausted, the race having been both mentally taxing and physically demanding for all of us.
Today I observed the bipedal carbon-sacks performing their “morning commute,” which appears to be an elaborate ritual of honking and despair.
I deployed Prototype Plan R—smile politely and ask for directions—and was immediately offered three contradictory routes and a coupon for fried dough.
Their devices glow, their snacks crunch, their attention spans evaporate like coolant on a star-core, yet they call this efficiency.
No matter; I shall blend in with a hat and an unconvincing grin while my magnificent schematics recalibrate to weaponize the power of… customer feedback forms.
Soon the planetary committee will kneel—or at least agree to a “quick sync after lunch”—and then, TRIUMPH, my conquest will be scheduled for sometime between their yoga class and the latest firmware update.